Running and Remembering - A Whouffle fanfic
by stealthetardis
Summary: Clara encounters a siren that convinces her to kill herself. Clara survives, but she suffers from amnesia, and the Doctor is left to clean up the mess.
1. Chapter 1

All it took was one goodbye and suddenly, all of it was gone. My hopes, dreams, accomplishments, everything.

It happens in slow motion, yet unbearably fast.

My letters I wrote lay on the ground in front of me. My blood splattered on a few. Suddenly my body drops to the floor, and I see the gun fall out of my hand.

It takes so long, yet happens so fast.

My vision blurs and suddenly I'm scared. So scared. I'm dying. The bullet through my head did its job. It's killing me.

So scared.

I don't want to die.

My vision goes black.

One word echoes in my mind, the only thing that's not fading.

Doctor.

Over and Over.

It seems like forever. Blackness all around me. That one word echoing and ever repeating.

Doctor.

Suddenly, there's a light. The light clears and I'm in what looks like an Emergency Room.

A voice tells me everything is going to be alright. The voice isn't familiar. It's a man's.

"It's okay. Everything is going to be alright. You're fine."

The voice sounds more like it's consoling it's self rather than me.

My vision clears. There's a man to my left, the one who owns the voice that consoles itself.

And to my right, there's a... Lizard person?

Suddenly, the lizard talks.

"Doctor, there are more important things than this girl."

The lizard appears to be aggravated. The man who is petting my hand replies to the lizard as if a talking lizard-person is perfectly normal.

"Vastra, she was under my protection when the siren convinced her to kill herself. I have to stay with her. She can't die again. I'm not letting her die. She needs to be with me."

Wait one second. I know this guy?! He knows me?! I need to be with him?!

Lizard lady walks out.

"Clara, if you can hear me, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my Time Lord life with you."

Whoa there. This guy loves me?! I only just woke up from a coma!

The man sits down next to my bed. He appears to go to sleep.

"You don't need to go to sleep you know." I somehow mumble out.

The man's eyes shoot open and he's right next to me in less than a second.

"Clara?" he cups my face in his hand. "You're awake." his smile seems so kind, so gentle.

"Yeah, I'm awake." I say, only slightly creeped out that this man is obsessed with me.

"My impossible girl does it again." he says with such care and love, that I realize I have a few questions to ask him.

"Um, I have a couple questions…" I say, sitting up in my hospital bed.

"Okay, I'll answer them." he responds, helping me sit up, like I can't do it myself.

"Who's Clara?"

His eyes go wide, suddenly he's shaking and pacing around the room.

"Um, so I have another question, I hope it doesn't alarm you like the last one did." I say, keeping a watchful eye on him, and then I notice his hair, and how it falls just right on his forehead, and his green eyes, so bright and intelligent, yet so old. I realize that I've been staring at him while he was waiting for my final question, and I feel my cheeks go red.

"Um, so, here's the question," I say, "Who are you?"

He looks up at me with complete and total fear.

"Clara, you don't know who I am?"

"So... I'm guessing my name's... Clara?"

He looks so worried.

"Um... Err... Excuse me." He says as he walks outside the all-white room around me. The door closes and I hear him screaming, but it's not just screaming, it's like he's scream-sobbing. He curses in a language I cannot understand. Then it stops. Suddenly. Like the storm is over. The door opens and he comes back into my room.

"So, Clara. You have absolutely no idea who I am?"

"Yeah. You are a complete and total stranger."

"Oh. Oh my." He says, completely embarrassed with his lovey behavior from earlier. His shaking hand brushes through his hair, his dark brown, thick, straight, perfect hair. I realize that I've been staring. Again. He looks up from staring at the ground and looks at me.

"I'm the Doctor. I'm from the planet Gallifrey and I'm over 900 years old. I'm also a Time Lord."

I stare at him in disbelief. _He's an alien?! But, he looks so… Human!_

"You look so human… and… young."

"Yeah," he laughs, "I get that a lot."

Our eyes lock, and I see the color of his eyes, _like lost planets._

We blush, like we were both observing each other's eyes. I look down at my bed, twirling the paper thin sheets in my fingers.

"Doctor," I say, "how long have I known you?"

"2 years. We've been traveling together for 2 years."

"Travelling?"

"In the TARDIS, my… time machine."

"_Time machine?!" _I say in shock.

"Well… More like time and space machine…"

"Are you _serious, _Doctor?"

"100%"

I stare at him.

"So, where am I now?"

"In the Tardis." He says, as if it's completely normal to have a time machine and be an alien.

"Can you show me around?"

"Not until you have recovered a little more." He smiles.

"Okay. I guess I'll sleep then." I say, and I close my eyes. I hear him walk out of the room and close the door.

_A woman and a man stand outside a small blue box, chatting. The man is trying to convince her to get inside the box, but the woman refuses._

_"So you think that you can just crook your finger and I'll travel in your little snog box?" the woman asks the man, who has his hand in his thick brown hair. _

_"Well..." he says, sounding like he did expect her to travel with him. _

_She looks at her house, thinking. _

_"Come on Wednesday, I'll have made my decision by then." _

_The man smiles at the short, full of attitude woman. She walks into her house, her decision already made._

_When the woman is inside, and the lights are off, the man opens his police box and runs into it, and right into the console room. _

_"And Wednesday we go!" he says as he runs around the central console and flicks switches and buttons and levers._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I wake up with a start, the dream haunting me. It all seemed so familiar, the way the woman answered with just the right amount of sass, how the little blue box was bigger on the inside, and how the man ran around the console, excited for a new adventure. It feels like if I could just remember how their faces looked…

The door opens and the Doctor walks in.

"Good Morning, Clara." He says with a bright and happy smile.

"Good Morning, Doctor."

"How was sleeping?"

"Great, but, I had a very strange dream."

The Doctor's face is contorted with concern.

"Tell me about the dream you had."

"There was a man and a woman outside a blue box, and they were chatting. The woman called the box a snog box, and she said for the man to come back on Wednesday. The man then jumped into the box, which was bigger on the inside, and said something about going to Wednesday."

The Doctor's eyes widen, and he looks happy.

"Clara, that was a memory." He says, holding my hand. "That was when I asked you to travel with me, in my bigger-on-the-inside blue box."

His smile is so big he looks like he's about to burst.

"So, I remembered something, about my past." I say, excited that I'm getting my memories back.

We smile at each other.

"I'm remembering."

"You're remembering."

"Doctor, I'm _remembering!"_

I laugh and hug the Doctor. His warmth comforting me, its familiarity triggering something in my brain. And suddenly I'm saying something, but in a whisper.

"_Run. Run you clever boy, and remember me."_

Then the feeling's gone.

The Doctor whispers something in my ear.

"Clara, what did you just say?"

"I have no idea. It's like my brain just clicked, and I said that."

He hugs me tighter.

"Don't ever leave me."

He tucks his head into my shoulder as he says it.

"I don't plan on it."

A moment later I break from the hug and look at the Doctor. His hair looks rough and undone. His eyes have bags under them and look considerably older.

"Doctor, did you sleep last night?"

He gives me a simple answer.

"No."

"Doctor, you need to sleep, and brush your hair." I say, combing his hair with my fingers. I then realize what I'm doing and take my hand out of his hair.

"Sorry." I say, blushing. He looks at me and giggles.

"I actually kind of enjoyed that…"

"Oh, you did?" I say with a little sass.

"Yes, I did."

"So you enjoyed… This?" I say, messing up his already messed up hair.

"Oi!" he grabs my hand from out of his hair. "Like this," he takes my limp hand and combs his hair with it.

"Nah. That doesn't look as good as your hair when it's all messed up."

I pull my hand from his grasp, and out of his hair.

"Well, you should see your hair, soufflé girl."

Ignoring the soufflé comment, I reply.

"Oi! It's probably not as bad as your hair."

"Yeah, you're right, maybe it would look better if I did this!" and he ruffles my hair into my face.

"Oh. Ha. Ha. Real funny, Doctor. Now if you could get your hand out of my hair, that would be great."

He pauses, and tries to pull his hand from my hair.

"It's stuck, Clara."

I look at him with wide eyes.

"Are you serious?"

He nods.

"Okay, try again." I say, expecting him to pull his hand out of my hair easily, but it stays firmly stuck. "Oh no."

"Yeah, it's definitely stuck," and then he grins, "Told you it was messier than mine."

I narrow my eyes at him, "Very mature, Doctor."

"Yes, I know."

"Um, do you have a hairbrush?"

"How about a sonic screwdriver?"

"Ha Ha, real funny. We're going to need a hairbrush to get out of this mess."

"Well, my sonic might actually work…" he says, his sentence drifting off as he looks into my eyes.

"Doctor," I say, hoping to maintain his attention, "stay focused on the problem." I soften the sentence with a smile and a small laugh.

He sits up.

"Right!" he says, fixing his bowtie and making a face. "Back to hairbrush….ing?"

"Yup. You know, I think your sonic might just work…"

"Let's try." He takes out his sonic from his pants pocket, where it usually never is placed. The Doctor points the Gallifreyan screwdriver at the rat's nest that my hair is, and I feel my hair loosen and he slips his hand out.

"Well! That worked well!" he says joyously, holding out his hand for a high five. I reject the hand slap, his hand has my hair weaved through his long, slender fingers.

"Your hand…" I say and I take his hand and I carefully remove the hair, holding his hand in mine. After removing the ball of hair, his hand curls around mine and he stands up.

"Would you like to dance?"

"Doctor, I just removed a ball of hair from your fingers and you want to dance?"

"Yes, because… Oh, what's that crazy term that's all over twitter?" he asks himself, touching his hand to his chin. "err… rolo?"

"Yolo?" I ask, bewildered.

"Yes! Yolo! You only live once! Although technically it would not be applicable to myself."

"Doctor, you want to dance with me because of… Yolo?!"

"Yup." He says with a completely straight face.

"You do realize that yolo is the most ridiculous thing ever, right?" I say, raising an eyebrow and smiling. It feels all too familiar to sass the Doctor, and it gives me an odd feeling.

"Well, um. Oh well. May I have this dance, Clara Oswald?"

_Oswald, is that what my last name is?_

"Sure."

I stand up, the Doctor helping me off my bed. He takes my hand in his, placing the other on my waist. I place my hand on his shoulder, and the whole thing just feels so natural. Like we've done this a million times before.

We move to the silence of the room, only our footsteps and our close breaths accompany us.

Everything is perfect until there is a loud bang from somewhere in the TARDIS. The Doctor looks at the door, and what I see in his eyes scares me more than any monster could. Fear. But it's more than that. It's absolute _terror. _

"Clara.." He says slowly, trying hard to keep the fear out of his voice, "Run."

And he looks at me. A mix of desperation and fear and god knows what runs across his face.

Then he demands it.

"**_Run. Now._**"

And I do. I don't know where I'm running to, safety maybe? Or Home? But as I run through the endless hallways of the TARDIS, I know where I'm running to. Ever so vaguely do I remember running through these hallways before, and encountering a library of such grandness it cannot escape my mind, as everything else has.


	3. Chapter 3

As I run into the library, a million memories and thoughts enter my mind. _No. Not now. _My knees give and I'm on the floor, holding my head. _No. No. NO. _The pain of my own memories is insurmountable. And I'm screaming. _Get out of my head! Get out! _I remember so many faces, so many voices, yet nothing connects. It's like having a thousand puzzle pieces that don't connect. And it causes so much pain.

I'm still screaming as a pair of arms wraps around me and picks me up. I open my eyes to see the books of the library speeding by, and then it stops with my screaming, the books replaced with one of the many doors within the TARDIS. The door opens and I see a room of blue light, with what can only be described as a consul at the center. Above the consul there are spinning disks with a circular pattern on them, and I get a notion that it's a language. The language of Gallifrey. The Doctor sets me down on the floor, and starts pushing buttons and pulling levers with a face of urgency. He pulls one final lever and runs around the consul and picks me up. The Doctor runs out a different door than the one we came through, and suddenly we're outside, in a park near a large apartment complex. The large, multi-story building brings the faintest of memories back. A family, sitting at a table in a small apartment, discussing things in a whisper with grim faces. A man I recognize as my father sits at the end of the table, with tears running down his cheeks. He hits the table with his hand, suddenly angry.

"I could've prevented this!" he yells, standing up "If I took Ellie to the hospital instead of telling her to take an aspirin, she would be here today!"

The whole scene is suddenly too much for me. I block the rest of the memory, and close my eyes, letting the tears flow. The Doctor interrupts my sobbing with a pleading voice.

"Clara, please, I need you to listen. This is where your grandmother lives, I need you to stay here, the TARDIS isn't safe right now."

"No. The memories are too strong here."

"The TARDIS isn't safe for you right now Clara, and I don't know where else you could stay."

"I'm not staying at my grandmother's, I don't even remember her."

"Okay, right. Bad idea. Oh! Do you remember the Maitlands?"

The name offers some recognition, but no faces.

"I recognize the name very slightly, but I don't remember anything specific, like faces."

"I wonder if taking you to their house would do anything, and besides, I'm sure Artie and Nina would take care of you."

The names Artie and Nina bring back powerful memories, faces, voices, everything.

"Was I their nanny at one point?"

"Yes! Good job! You're remembering!"

"Doctor, I don't think you understand how painful remembering is."

"Ah, but I think we found somewhere you could stay while I fix up the TARDIS."

The Maitlands' house is larger than I remember, but then again, I really don't remember their house at all. The Doctor is the one to knock on the door and say hello to Nina and Artie. He explains my memory loss, but not the accident that caused it, he fears that telling the children about that would cause nightmares. The children agree to take me in, and try to cover up my memory loss when their dad was in the picture.

When I see Angie and Artie, I get an instant headache. Memories of Cybermen and a planet threatened to be bombed fill my head. I sit down on the sidewalk and hold my head. The Doctor runs to me, and mumbles something about if he had his TARDIS he could fix the whole painful memory thing, while helping me up off the sidewalk. The Doctor, always trying to fix things, including my brain. He helps me to the door, telling me when to step up on to the one stair to the Maitlands porch, and I reply with a, "Doctor I'm not blind, I just have a headache."

Once he delivers me to the door, Nina and Artie hold me in a huge hug. I hug back, blocking the memories as much as I can.

"We missed you, you were gone a week!" says Artie, squeezing tighter.

"Well it sure doesn't feel like a week!" I laugh, making a joke of my memory loss.

"That really isn't funny." says Nina.

The Doctor interrupts the moment by tapping on my shoulder.

"Clara," he stutters, "Goodbye, for now."

I push the kids inside and hug him.

"How long will fixing up the TARDIS take?"

"A couple of days… maybe a month."

"A month?! Doctor, I need you. Can't you just take the TARDIS to a repair shop or something?"

"My TARDIS is one-of-a-kind, Clara. There are no repair shops for something as complicated as the TARDIS."

I look into his eyes and see concern, either for me or for his TARDIS.

"Okay, Doctor, Goodbye. See you in a month?"

"See you in a month."

He kisses my forehead and walks away, never looking back.


End file.
